The Mystery
Topic: Uncategorized| 2 Comments »I have lost my innocence.
Might sound shocking coming from a pregnant woman but indeed it is true.
Yesterday I waltzed into Wal-Mart and, obeying the advice of veteran mothers, purchased hemorrhoid pads and adult diapers for post-birth recovery.
Just like that came the end of an era. An era of female mystery and lacy black lingerie.
I took it well. No hyperventilation. No searching google maps for the nearest Victoria’s Secret store in a vain/vain attempt to stop the inevitable. No drama. Just a sigh and a pat of the belly.
Actually the certainty that nobody would take my cart made me giggle.
Furthermore, I dare say I had a little epiphany. I realized that having a baby is kinda like getting married. You have no idea what you are getting yourself into but you have this glorious vision of cloud 9 and unicorns. When reality sets, you feel like you have been ran over by an entire fleet of trucks and all you can think about is finding a cliff high enough to push your “loved one” off of. Yet, magically, after the rough start you realize that you are incredibly happy and madly in love. None of your plans work out but life is just better for it. Somehow in the end you do get cloud 9 and the unicorns.
I am so completely in love with David and the Blueberry. They are my world.
Sandy
May 25th, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Yep, definitely didn’t think I’d start my first round of Depends at age 25. I think that’s a brilliant strategy for cart-security, though.
May 30th, 2012 at 4:19 pm
Adult diapers?? That is something I haven’t experienced. Why? I’m confused. Heavy duty pads were plenty for me, and I am pretty heavy, if you know what I mean. Seriously? I am amazed that I have had two children and have yet to hear about this. Maybe it works way better. They’re so expensive though. Let me know how it goes.
And I think your comparison of the birth/marriage experience is good. Sometimes you want to scream, “Why didn’t anyone tell me this was so hard!!” But then you realize how happy you are. It is nice.